Merilyn Simpson is ‘Dying to know’
6 August 2024
Merilyn Simpson knows how she wants to die.
She has written clear legally-binding directives, for doctors and relatives to follow in the event she can no longer communicate her wishes. This week, in support of campaign ‘Dying to Know Day’, Merilyn is sharing her story and urging others to complete an ‘Advance Care Directive’.
Directives document a person’s preferences for future medical treatment, from general values to specific instructions around treatment options.
“The main thing for me is, I don’t want to linger about in pain with no quality of life,” Merilyn said. “I saw my sister suffer in great pain and watched my friend visit her mother, kept alive as a vegetable, for years; I want to die on my own terms.”
When she filled out her form, Merilyn could not imagine how soon a life-threatening illness would bring it to the fore.
“I had an infection in my heart and an abscess on the aorta burst,” she said. “Surgeons had to take my heart out, clean it, and keep me on life support while they gave me a new valve. I died and came back – they didn’t have room for me!”
Merilyn describes haunting visions and nightmares from the seven days she was intubated and unconscious. Despite the “harrowing” experience, she was comforted by the knowledge her wishes were documented.
“The doctors had something to go by, my family weren’t left to make decisions they didn’t want to, and I could relax knowing my wishes would be met,” she said.
“These directives aren’t something to be feared, they’re about taking control of your own life. I’m not afraid of dying now.”
Merilyn’s message is to consider your options while in good health.
“When I filled mine out, I was clear-headed and could take time to think things through,” she said.
“Making those decisions while under pressure, in hospital or while you’re really sick, is not something you need. People avoid talking about death but I promise you, it’s such a relief and now I can get on with living.”